What Is Social Development in Children: What the Research Says

Social development is one of the most
important and most fascinating dimensions
of child development — and one that
parents often observe with wonder
as their child transforms from a newborn
who cannot distinguish self from other
to a teenager navigating the complex
social world of adolescence. Research
on social development provides specific,
evidence-based insight into what social
development actually is, how it unfolds,
what supports it, and what parents
can specifically do to nurture it.

This article covers what the research
shows about social development in
children — what it is, why it matters,
how it develops, and what parents
can specifically do.

What Social Development Actually Is

Research on social development —
including foundational work by Erik
Erikson, Lev Vygotsky, and more recently
Ross Thompson at the University of
California Davis — defines social
development as the process through
which children develop the knowledge,
skills, and dispositions that allow
them to relate effectively to other people.

Research identifies several core
components of social development:

Social awareness — the ability
to understand other people —
their feelings, perspectives,
intentions, and needs. Research
finds that social awareness
begins developing in the first
months of life — and continues
developing through adolescence.

Social skills — the behavioral
capacities for effective social
interaction — including communication,
cooperation, sharing, turn-taking,
conflict resolution, and negotiation.

Social relationships — the
capacity to form, maintain,
and navigate genuine relationships —
with caregivers, peers, and
other social partners.

Social identity — the developing
sense of oneself as a social
being — as a member of a family,
a peer group, a community,
and a culture.

Social values and norms —
the internalization of the
values, rules, and expectations
that govern social life in
the child’s family and culture.

Research finding: social development
is not a single capacity —
it is a complex, multidimensional
process that unfolds across
all of childhood and adolescence —
and continues developing throughout adult life.

Why Social Development Matters

Research on social development
and outcomes identifies several specific
reasons why social development is genuinely important:

Social competence predicts
academic success. Research consistently
finds that children with stronger
social skills show significantly
better academic outcomes — because
social competence supports
the cooperation, communication,
and conflict resolution that
classroom learning requires.

Social competence predicts
mental health. Research finds
that children with stronger
social development show significantly
lower rates of anxiety, depression,
and behavioral difficulties —
because social connection is
one of the most important protective
factors for mental health.

Social competence predicts
long-term life success. Research
on social skills and adult outcomes —
including significant longitudinal
work by Megan Jones and colleagues
at Penn State — finds that social
competence in kindergarten significantly
predicts educational attainment,
employment, and mental health
twenty years later.

Social development is the
foundation of all relationships.
Research finds that the social
development capacities built
in childhood — attachment, empathy,
communication, conflict resolution —
form the foundation of all
adult relationships — romantic,
professional, and community.

How Social Development Unfolds

Research on social development
and child development identifies
several key processes through which
social development unfolds:

Attachment — the foundation.
Research by John Bowlby and
Mary Ainsworth finds that secure
attachment to a primary caregiver —
the felt sense that the caregiver
is available, responsive, and
reliable — is the foundation
of all subsequent social development.
The secure attached child uses
the caregiver as a safe base
for social exploration — and
develops the internal working
models of relationships that
shape all future relationships.

Social referencing. Research
finds that from approximately
nine months — infants begin
looking to caregivers for emotional
information about the social
world — using the caregiver’s
emotional response to novel
situations to guide their own response.

Theory of mind development.
Research on theory of mind —
the understanding that others
have thoughts, feelings, and
perspectives different from
one’s own — finds that this
capacity develops between approximately
three and five years — and
is one of the most important
social-cognitive milestones
of early childhood.

Peer relationship development.
Research finds that peer relationships —
which begin in toddlerhood —
become increasingly central
to social development through
childhood and adolescence —
providing the context for social
skill practice, friendship,
and social identity development.

Moral development. Research
on moral development — including
foundational work by Lawrence
Kohlberg and Carol Gilligan —
finds that children’s understanding
of fairness, rights, and responsibility
develops progressively through
childhood — shaped by social experience,
cognitive development, and adult guidance.

What Supports Social Development

Research on social development
and the conditions that support it identifies:

Secure attachment to primary caregivers.
Research consistently finds
that secure attachment — built
through consistent, warm, responsive
caregiving — is the most important
foundation for all subsequent social development.

Warm responsive parenting.
Research finds that warm, responsive
parenting — that validates emotions,
explains social rules, and models
prosocial behavior — significantly
supports social development
across all developmental stages.

Genuine social experience —
particularly with peers. Research
finds that genuine social experience —
particularly unstructured play
with peers — is the primary
context for social skill development.
Social skills cannot be taught
directly — they develop through genuine social practice.

Emotion coaching. Research
by John Gottman finds that
emotion coaching — acknowledging
and validating children’s emotions,
helping them understand and
name their feelings — significantly
supports the emotional intelligence
that social competence requires.

Mixed-age social experiences.
Research finds that mixed-age
social experiences — where children
interact with younger and older
children — provide particularly
rich social learning opportunities.

What Hinders Social Development

Research on social development
and its obstacles identifies:

Insecure attachment. Research
finds that insecure attachment —
produced by inconsistent, unresponsive,
or frightening caregiving —
significantly impairs social
development — through its effects
on the internal working models
of relationships that children develop.

Limited peer social experience.
Research finds that children
with limited genuine peer interaction —
including those with very limited
unstructured play — show slower
social skill development.

Heavy screen use displacing
social interaction. Research
finds that heavy screen use —
particularly social media —
can displace the face-to-face
social interaction that social
skill development requires.

Emotional dismissal. Research
finds that parenting that dismisses
or minimizes children’s emotions —
telling them not to feel what
they feel — impairs the emotional
intelligence that social competence requires.

Social development by Age —
A Brief Overview

Research on social development
milestones identifies characteristic
social development at different ages:

Birth to twelve months:
Responding to faces and voices.
Social smiling — from approximately six weeks.
Stranger anxiety — from approximately eight months.
Social referencing — from approximately nine months.
Beginning attachment formation.

One to three years:
Parallel play — playing alongside rather than with peers.
Beginning cooperative play.
Emerging empathy — distress at others’ distress.
Beginning to understand social rules.
Strong attachment to primary caregivers.

Three to five years:
Cooperative play with peers.
Theory of mind development — understanding others have different thoughts and feelings.
Emerging friendships.
Understanding of sharing and turn-taking.
Beginning moral reasoning — fairness.

Six to twelve years:
Complex peer relationships and genuine friendships.
Peer comparison and social evaluation.
Team cooperation.
More sophisticated moral reasoning.
Beginning of peer group identity.

Adolescence:
Peer relationships become central.
Identity development — including social identity.
Romantic relationships begin.
More sophisticated perspective-taking.
More complex moral reasoning.

Try This This Week

Practice 1 — The Social Experience Investment
What it is: A deliberate weekly
investment in genuine peer social
experience — the most important
context for social development.

How to do it: Once each week —
facilitate one genuine peer
social experience for your child:

An unstructured playdate —
without adult direction.
A neighborhood play opportunity.
A community activity with peers.

Why it works: Research on
social development consistently
finds that genuine peer social
experience — particularly unstructured —
is the primary context for
social skill development. No
amount of adult instruction
replaces the genuine social
practice that peer interaction provides.

Practice 2 — The Emotion Coaching Practice
What it is: A deliberate daily
practice of emotion coaching —
supporting the emotional intelligence
that social competence requires.

How to do it: This week when
your child experiences any emotion —
practice emotion coaching:

Notice — “I can see you’re feeling…”
Name — “That looks like frustration.”
Validate — “That makes complete sense.”
Guide — “What could help with that feeling?”

Why it works: Research by
Gottman consistently finds that
emotion coaching — acknowledging
and validating children’s emotions —
significantly supports the emotional
intelligence that social competence requires.

Practice 3 — The Prosocial Modeling Practice
What it is: A deliberate daily
practice of modeling the prosocial
behaviors that social development requires.

How to do it: This week deliberately model:

Empathy — “I can see that
person is having a hard day.”
Cooperation — working together
on a family task.
Conflict resolution — handling
disagreements respectfully and constructively.
Kindness — genuine acts of
kindness toward others.

Why it works: Research on
modeling and social development
consistently finds that children
learn social behavior significantly
more from observing their parents’
actual social behavior than
from direct instruction. Parents
who model the social competencies
they want their children to
develop — produce significantly
more socially competent children.

The Bottom Line

Social development is one of
the most important dimensions
of child development — and
one that unfolds continuously
from birth through adolescence.
Research is clear: secure attachment
is the foundation; warm responsive
parenting supports all subsequent
social development; genuine
peer social experience is the
primary context for social skill
development; emotion coaching
builds emotional intelligence;
and parental modeling of prosocial
behavior is the most powerful
social development tool available.

Sources

Bowlby, J. (1969).
Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment.
Basic Books.

Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J.
(1997). Raising an Emotionally
Intelligent Child. Simon & Schuster.

Thompson, R. A. (2006).
The development of the person.
In W. Damon & R. M. Lerner (Eds.),
Handbook of Child Psychology. Wiley.

Jones, D. E., Greenberg, M.,
& Crowley, M. (2015).
Early social-emotional functioning
and public health.
American Journal of Public Health,
105(11), 2283–2290.