Author: Chien Liu

Co-regulation is one of the most important conceptsin child development — and one of the least knownoutside of professional circles. It describessomething that parents do naturally and instinctivelyin their best parenting moments, and something thatthe research identifies as the primary mechanismthrough which children develop the capacity toregulate their own emotions and behavior. This article explains…

Content: Gratitude is one of those qualities that parentsuniversally want for their children — and one ofthe most commonly approached in ways that producethe opposite of what is intended. Requiring childrento say thank you, lecturing them about how luckythey are, or pointing out how much worse thingscould be — these approaches are understandableand largely ineffective.…

Positive reinforcement is one of the mostfrequently used terms in parenting — and oneof the most frequently misunderstood. It issometimes used to mean simply being positivewith children, sometimes to mean rewardinggood behavior with treats or stickers, andsometimes dismissed as bribery. None of thesecaptures what the research actually showsabout positive reinforcement, how it works,and how to…

When a child is struggling in school — fallingbehind academically, dreading going, coming homedefeated — it is one of the most difficultexperiences in parenting. The impulse to fixit immediately, to find the right tutor orprogram or approach, is understandable. Theresearch suggests that the most effectiveresponses are often less about fixing andmore about understanding — understandingwhat…

Money is one of the topics parents most commonlyavoid discussing with children — and one of themost important not to. Research on financialliteracy and adult financial outcomes consistentlyfinds that the money habits, attitudes, andunderstanding that people carry into adulthoodare shaped significantly by what they learned —and did not learn — about money in childhood. This…

Growth mindset is one of the most widely discussedconcepts in education and parenting over the pasttwo decades — and one of the most frequentlymisapplied. The term has become so popular thatit is often reduced to a slogan: “just tell childrenthey can improve and they will.” The researchbehind it is both more specific and more nuancedthan…

Teaching children to make good choices is one ofthe most important — and most gradual — tasks ofparenting. It is not something that happens in asingle conversation or through a single lesson.It is built across thousands of ordinary moments,through the specific ways parents respond whenchildren face decisions, make mistakes, andencounter the consequences of their choices.…

“She just won’t listen.” “He hears me but ignoresme completely.” “I have to say it ten times beforeanything happens.” These are among the mostcommon frustrations parents report — and amongthe most misunderstood in terms of what isactually happening and what actually helps. This article covers what the research showsabout children and listening — why childrendon’t…

Confidence is one of the qualities parents mostwant for their children — and one of the mostcommonly misunderstood in terms of how itactually develops. The popular approach tobuilding confidence — praising childrenlavishly, protecting them from failure,and telling them they can do anything —is not only unsupported by research.In some cases it actively underminesthe genuine confidence…