Author: Chien Liu

Positive discipline is one of the most widelyused terms in contemporary parenting — andone of the most variably understood. To someparents it means praising good behavior.To others it means discipline withoutpunishment. To others still it is a specificprogram developed by Jane Nelsen based onAlfred Adler’s individual psychology. The research on discipline — what it is,what…

Defiance is one of the most frustratingparenting experiences — and one of the mostcommon. A child who refuses to comply,who argues with every request, who pushesback against every limit, and who seemsto have an inexhaustible supply of “no”can exhaust even the most patient parent. The research on defiance in childrentells a more nuanced story than…

Gentle parenting is one of the most searchedparenting terms of the past decade — and oneof the most variably defined. To some parentsit means a warm, empathic, boundary-settingapproach grounded in developmental science.To others it means permissiveness, the absenceof consequences, or the endless negotiationof every limit. To its critics it produceschildren who cannot handle disappointmentor follow…

Friendship is one of the most importantcontributors to children’s wellbeing —and one of the areas where parents feelmost helpless when things go wrong.Watching a child struggle to make friends,sit alone at lunch, or be left out ofsocial groups is among the most painfulexperiences of parenting. The research on children’s friendshipdevelopment is more specific and moreactionable…

Attachment parenting is one of the most discussed —and most debated — parenting philosophies of thepast three decades. Its advocates describe it asthe most natural, responsive, and developmentallysound approach to raising children. Its criticsdescribe it as exhausting, guilt-inducing, andbased on a misreading of attachment science. The research tells a more nuanced story thaneither camp fully…

Emotional intelligence — the capacity to recognize,understand, manage, and effectively use emotionsin oneself and in relationships with others —is one of the qualities most strongly associatedwith life success, relationship quality, andpsychological wellbeing across the lifespan. Research by psychologist Daniel Goleman,who popularized the concept in his 1995 book,and by the researchers whose work precededand followed his…

Sleep is one of the most important contributorsto children’s health, development, and wellbeing —and one of the most common sources of parentalexhaustion and frustration. Research on children’ssleep is among the most robust in all ofdevelopmental science, with clear, consistentfindings about what children need, what helps,and what gets in the way. This article covers what the…

Secure attachment is one of the most importantconcepts in all of developmental psychology —and one of the most frequently misunderstoodby parents who encounter it. It is sometimesassociated with specific parenting philosophies,sometimes reduced to a checklist of parentingpractices, and sometimes used to generateanxiety in parents who worry they are notdoing it right. The research on secure…

Disappointment is one of the most inevitableexperiences of childhood — and one of the mostimportant to navigate well. Every child willnot get the part in the play, will not beinvited to the birthday party, will not makethe team, will not receive the gift theyhoped for, will not get the outcome theyworked toward. How children learn…

A child who hits is one of the most distressingparenting experiences — particularly when thehitting is directed at a parent, a sibling,or a peer. The instinct to respond withimmediate, firm consequences is understandable.The research on hitting in children suggeststhat the most effective responses are morenuanced than simple punishment — and thatunderstanding what is driving the…