How to Help a Child Who Is Struggling in School: What the Research Says

When a child is struggling in school — falling
behind academically, dreading going, coming home
defeated — it is one of the most difficult
experiences in parenting. The impulse to fix
it immediately, to find the right tutor or
program or approach, is understandable. The
research suggests that the most effective
responses are often less about fixing and
more about understanding — understanding
what is actually driving the struggle before
deciding how to respond.

This article covers what the research shows
about school struggle in children, what the
most common underlying causes are, and what
the evidence supports for parents who want
to help effectively.

School Struggle Is Not One Thing

One of the most important things the research
establishes about children who struggle in
school is that school struggle is not a
single phenomenon with a single cause or
a single solution. Children struggle in
school for many different reasons — and
identifying the specific reason matters
enormously for choosing the right response.

Research by educational psychologist
Nancy Jordan at the University of Delaware
and by learning disabilities researcher
Sally Shaywitz at Yale identifies several
distinct categories of school struggle,
each with different underlying mechanisms
and different evidence-based responses:

Academic skill gaps. The child has not
yet developed the specific academic skills
— reading decoding, mathematical fluency,
writing mechanics — required for the
current level of work. This is the most
straightforward category of school struggle
and the most responsive to targeted,
evidence-based academic intervention.

Learning differences. The child has a
specific learning difference — dyslexia,
dyscalculia, dysgraphia, or other
processing differences — that makes
the acquisition of specific academic
skills significantly more effortful
than for most peers. Research by
Shaywitz on dyslexia finds it present
in approximately one in five students —
making it the most common learning
difference and one of the most commonly
missed.

Attention difficulties. The child has
significant difficulty with sustained
attention, impulse control, or
organizational demands — often associated
with ADHD — that interferes with
academic performance independent
of underlying ability. Research
consistently finds that ADHD affects
approximately five to eight percent
of school-age children, with significant
underdiagnosis particularly in girls.

Emotional and social difficulties.
The child’s academic performance is
being affected by anxiety, depression,
social difficulties, or significant
stress at home or at school — not
by any underlying academic or
cognitive difference. Research on
the relationship between emotional
wellbeing and academic performance
finds significant bidirectional effects:
emotional difficulties reduce academic
performance, and academic struggle
increases emotional difficulties.

Environmental mismatch. The child
is capable of the academic work
but is in an environment — a
specific classroom, a specific
school culture, a specific
teaching approach — that does
not match their learning style,
temperament, or needs.

Getting this categorization right —
understanding which type of struggle
the child is actually experiencing —
is more important than any specific
intervention.

What the Research Shows Helps

Start with observation and
investigation, not intervention.
Research on effective responses
to school struggle consistently
finds that parents who begin
by carefully observing and
investigating — talking to
the child, talking to the teacher,
understanding the specific nature
of the difficulty — make better
decisions about intervention
than those who immediately
implement whatever intervention
feels most urgent.

Questions worth asking:
What specifically is the child
struggling with — and what
are they not struggling with?
When did the struggle begin?
What changed around that time?
How does the child describe
their experience of school?
What does the teacher observe?
Is the struggle limited to
school or does it appear
at home too?

Talk to the teacher early
and collaboratively. Research
on parent-school partnerships
and academic outcomes finds
that early, collaborative
communication between parents
and teachers produces better
outcomes for struggling children
than either late intervention
or adversarial communication.

Request a meeting — not to
complain but to understand:
“I’ve noticed my child is
struggling and I want to
understand what you’re
observing and how we can
work together.” The teacher
sees your child in the
academic environment for
hours every day. Their
observation is valuable
information.

Consider formal assessment
when the struggle is persistent
or significant. Research on
the identification of learning
differences finds that many
children struggle for years
before receiving appropriate
assessment and support —
because parents and teachers
attribute the struggle to
effort, attitude, or maturity
rather than to an underlying
difference that assessment
could identify.

If a child has been struggling
significantly for more than
a few months despite targeted
support, a formal psychoeducational
assessment — evaluating cognitive
abilities, academic achievement,
processing skills, and attention —
is worth requesting through
the school or a private
educational psychologist.

Protect the parent-child
relationship from the
academic struggle. Research
on parental involvement in
children’s academic difficulties
identifies a specific risk:
when parents become primarily
associated with the child’s
academic struggle — through
homework battles, expressions
of disappointment, or pressure
to perform — the parent-child
relationship becomes entangled
with the academic difficulty
in ways that worsen both.

The parent-child relationship
is the most important resource
a struggling child has.
Protecting it — ensuring
that the child experiences
the parent as a safe, warm,
supportive presence rather
than as an additional source
of academic pressure — is
one of the most evidence-based
things a parent can do.

This means: homework help
that is genuinely helpful
and calm, not an extension
of the school day’s stress.
Conversations about school
that include what went well,
not only what is difficult.
Regular, explicit affirmation
of the child’s worth that
is completely independent
of academic performance.

Targeted, evidence-based
academic support. When the
struggle is primarily academic —
a skill gap in reading or
mathematics — research strongly
supports targeted, structured
intervention delivered by
a qualified professional.
For reading specifically,
structured literacy approaches
based on the science of reading
have the strongest evidence
base and are significantly
more effective than general
reading exposure or
comprehension-focused approaches
alone.

Not all tutoring is equal.
Research on tutoring effectiveness
finds significant variation —
tutoring that uses evidence-based
instructional approaches for
the specific skill gap produces
significantly better outcomes
than general academic support.

Address the emotional dimension
directly. Research on academic
struggle and emotional wellbeing
finds that children who are
struggling academically almost
universally experience associated
emotional difficulties — shame,
anxiety, avoidance, and reduced
self-esteem — that require
attention alongside the academic
support.

A child who believes they are
stupid because they find reading
difficult needs two things:
effective reading instruction
AND explicit, consistent
reframing of what the difficulty
means. “You find reading hard
right now. That is not because
you are not smart. It is because
your brain processes written
language differently — and
we are going to get you the
right support to help with that.”

What Does Not Help

Pressure and criticism. Research
on academic pressure and performance
finds that pressure from parents —
particularly when expressed as
disappointment, comparison to
other children, or criticism of
effort — is associated with
worse academic outcomes and
worse emotional outcomes for
struggling children. It increases
the anxiety that is already
impairing performance.

Waiting and hoping it resolves.
Research on learning differences
and intervention timing consistently
finds that earlier intervention
produces better outcomes than
later intervention — because
the skill gap compounds over
time and because the emotional
consequences of prolonged
struggle accumulate. A child
who struggles to read in
second grade and receives
no support will struggle
more significantly in
fourth grade — not because
the underlying difference
has worsened but because
the gap between their skill
level and grade-level demands
has grown.

Attributing the struggle
to effort or attitude when
the cause is something else.
“You’re just not trying hard
enough” is one of the most
damaging responses available
to a child who is struggling
due to a learning difference
or attention difficulty —
because it adds shame to
a difficulty that is not
within the child’s voluntary
control, and it delays
identification of the
actual cause.

When to Seek Additional Support

A conversation with your
pediatrician is warranted when:

Academic struggle is persistent —
lasting more than a few months
despite targeted support.

The struggle is significantly
affecting the child’s emotional
wellbeing — producing significant
anxiety, school avoidance,
or expressions of hopelessness.

You suspect a specific learning
difference or attention difficulty
that has not been formally assessed.

The child’s behavior at home
has changed significantly
in connection with school difficulties.

The school has raised concerns
about the child’s academic
or social functioning.

The Bottom Line

A child who is struggling in
school is not a child who is
failing. They are a child
whose needs are not yet
being fully met — by the
curriculum, by the environment,
by the instructional approach,
or by support that has not
yet been identified or provided.

The most important first step
is understanding what is
actually driving the struggle —
not assuming, not projecting,
but genuinely investigating
with curiosity and without blame.

The second most important step
is protecting the parent-child
relationship through the difficulty —
ensuring that your child knows,
unambiguously, that your love
and belief in them is not
contingent on their academic performance.

Everything else follows from those two.

Sources

Shaywitz, S. E. (2003). Overcoming
Dyslexia. Knopf.

Jordan, N. C., Kaplan, D.,
Ramineni, C., & Locuniak, M. N.
(2009). Early math matters.
Developmental Psychology,
45(3), 850–867.

Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:
A Handbook for Diagnosis and
Treatment. Guilford Press.

Hattie, J. (2009). Visible Learning.
Routledge.