What Is Parallel Play? Understanding How Toddlers Play

If you have ever watched two toddlers playing side by side —
each absorbed in their own activity, apparently ignoring each
other, yet clearly aware of the other’s presence — you have
witnessed parallel play. It is one of the most characteristic
features of toddler social life, and one of the most
misunderstood by parents who wonder whether their child
is developing socially “on track.”

This article explains what parallel play actually is,
what the research shows about its developmental significance,
and what it means for how parents support their toddler’s
social development.

What Parallel Play Is

Parallel play is a form of social play in which two or more
children play near each other, using similar materials or
engaged in similar activities, without directly interacting
or coordinating their play. Each child is absorbed in their
own play — but they are playing alongside rather than
separately from each other, and each is aware of and
influenced by the other’s presence.

The term was introduced by developmental psychologist
Mildred Parten in her landmark 1932 study of children’s
social participation. Parten observed children in a
nursery school setting and identified six levels of
social participation in play, arranged in a developmental
sequence:

Unoccupied behavior — the child watches others
or engages in random movement without apparent
purpose.

Solitary play — the child plays alone, with
no interest in what other children are doing.

Onlooker behavior — the child watches other
children play without joining.

Parallel play — the child plays near other
children, with similar materials, without
direct interaction.

Associative play — children play together,
sharing materials and conversation, without
organized roles or goals.

Cooperative play — children play together
toward a shared goal, with organized roles
and rules.

Parten proposed that children move through
these stages in sequence as they develop,
with parallel play representing a middle
stage between solitary and fully social play.

What the Research Has Since Found

Parten’s framework has been enormously
influential — and has also been significantly
refined by subsequent research. Several
important findings have updated our
understanding of parallel play:

It is not simply a stepping stone to
“better” play. Early interpretations of
Parten’s framework treated parallel play
as developmentally inferior to associative
and cooperative play — something children
do on the way to “real” social play.
Research by developmental psychologist
Kenneth Rubin at the University of Maryland
and others challenges this view. Parallel
play is not simply immature social play —
it is a genuinely sophisticated form of
social engagement that continues to serve
important functions throughout early
childhood and beyond.

It is socially significant even without
direct interaction. Research on toddler
parallel play finds that children engaged
in parallel play are actively monitoring
each other — copying each other’s actions,
adjusting their own play in response to
what the other child is doing, and
engaging in what researchers call
“social referencing” — checking the
other child’s reactions to guide their
own. This is genuine social engagement,
even without conversation or shared goals.

It provides a safe entry point to social
interaction. Research on how young children
enter social situations finds that parallel
play functions as a low-risk bridge to more
direct interaction. A toddler who begins
playing alongside another child is
significantly more likely to move into
direct interaction than one who approaches
with an immediate bid for joint play.
The side-by-side activity creates shared
context and reduces the social demands
of direct engagement.

It persists beyond toddlerhood — and
that is normal. Research on children’s
play across the preschool and early
school years finds that parallel play
does not disappear as children become
capable of more complex social play.
It remains a frequent and valued form
of social engagement across childhood —
and indeed across the lifespan. Adults
who sit together reading, exercising
side by side, or working in the same
room while engaged in different tasks
are engaging in a form of parallel play.

Why Parallel Play Matters Developmentally

Parallel play serves several important
developmental functions that research
has identified:

It builds social awareness. Playing near
another child — noticing what they are
doing, adjusting one’s own play in
response — builds the social monitoring
capacity that more complex social
interaction requires.

It provides imitation learning
opportunities. Research on toddler
learning finds that children learn
significantly from watching and
imitating peers. Parallel play creates
natural opportunities for this peer
learning — children try things they
have seen a nearby child do, expanding
their play repertoire through social
observation.

It builds comfort with social presence.
For children who are shy or slow to warm
up — and for all children in new
environments — parallel play provides
a way to be socially present without
the demands of direct interaction.
The comfort built through parallel
play often leads naturally to more
direct engagement over time.

It is intrinsically satisfying. Research
on children’s subjective experience of
different play types finds that parallel
play is genuinely enjoyable — not merely
tolerated as a substitute for “real”
social play. Children who are playing
alongside a peer are typically engaged,
absorbed, and content.

What Parents Can Do

Facilitate opportunities rather than
orchestrating interaction. The most
effective parental support for toddler
social development is creating
opportunities for children to be near
each other — in the same space, with
similar materials — without directing
or orchestrating the interaction.
The parallel play that emerges naturally
from shared space and shared materials
is developmentally appropriate and valuable.

Do not push for direct interaction
before the child is ready. A toddler
who is engaged in parallel play near
another child is doing something
developmentally appropriate and
valuable. Pushing them toward direct
interaction — “go play with them,”
“say hello,” “share your toys” —
before they are ready can disrupt
a process that is unfolding naturally.

Interpret parallel play as social
success, not social failure. A toddler
who plays alongside other children
for an entire playdate without
directly interacting is not failing
socially. They are engaging in
age-appropriate social play.
Reframing parallel play as what
it actually is — a genuine form
of social engagement — reduces
parental anxiety and allows
children the space to develop
at their own pace.

Provide materials that invite
parallel engagement. Open-ended
materials — blocks, sand, water,
art supplies, vehicles — naturally
invite parallel play because multiple
children can engage with similar
materials independently while
remaining in shared space. These
materials are among the most
developmentally valuable for
toddler social development precisely
because they support the kind of
side-by-side play that builds
social awareness.

When to Be More Attentive

Most toddlers engage in parallel play
as a natural and healthy part of their
social development. A few patterns
are worth discussing with your
pediatrician:

A child who shows no awareness of
or interest in other children at all —
who does not look at, orient toward,
or adjust their play in response to
nearby children — may warrant
developmental assessment.

A child who is significantly distressed
by the presence of other children
rather than simply uninterested in
direct interaction.

Any concerns about social communication
development more broadly.

The Bottom Line

Parallel play is not a sign that your
toddler is antisocial, shy, or behind
in their development. It is a developmentally
appropriate, socially significant, and
genuinely valuable form of social engagement
that is characteristic of toddlerhood
and remains present throughout childhood.

The toddler playing quietly alongside
another child — apparently absorbed in
their own world — is doing something
sophisticated and important. They are
learning to be with another person,
to notice and respond to another
person’s actions, and to find comfort
in shared space.

That is the beginning of everything
social that comes after.

Sources

Parten, M. B. (1932). Social participation
among preschool children. Journal of
Abnormal and Social Psychology,
27(3), 243–269.

Rubin, K. H., Fein, G. G., & Vandenberg, B.
(1983). Play. In P. H. Mussen (Ed.),
Handbook of Child Psychology. Wiley.

Howes, C. (1988). Peer interaction of
young children. Monographs of the Society
for Research in Child Development,
53(1).

Eckerman, C. O., & Didow, S. M. (1996).
Nonverbal imitation and toddlers’ mastery
of verbal means of achieving coordinated
action. Developmental Psychology,
32(1), 141–152.