What Is Cyberbullying? What Every Parent Needs to Know

Cyberbullying has become one of the
most significant and most damaging
forms of bullying children and adolescents
face — and one that many parents feel
least equipped to understand and address.
Unlike traditional bullying, cyberbullying
follows children into their homes,
their bedrooms, and their private spaces —
making escape significantly more difficult
and the psychological impact significantly
more pervasive.

This article covers what the research
shows about cyberbullying — what it
actually is, how it differs from traditional
bullying, who is at risk, and what
parents need to know.

What Cyberbullying Actually Is

Research on cyberbullying — including
significant work by Sameer Hinduja
and Justin Patchin at the Cyberbullying
Research Center — defines cyberbullying
as willful and repeated harm inflicted
through the use of computers, phones,
and other electronic devices.

Like traditional bullying, cyberbullying involves:
Repetition — it happens more
than once.
Intent to harm — the behavior
is deliberate.
Power imbalance — though this
operates differently online
than in person.

Research identifies several forms
of cyberbullying:

Harassment — sending repeated
offensive, rude, or threatening messages.

Flaming — online arguments
using hostile or vulgar language.

Outing — sharing someone’s
private information, images,
or secrets online without consent.

Exclusion — deliberately excluding
someone from online groups,
chats, or games.

Impersonation — pretending
to be someone else online
to damage their reputation
or relationships.

Cyberstalking — repeated harassment
and intimidation online that
produces significant fear.

Fake profiles — creating false
social media profiles to mock
or harass.

How Cyberbullying Differs From
Traditional Bullying

Research on cyberbullying and traditional
bullying identifies several important differences:

No escape. Research finds that
traditional bullying is typically
confined to specific physical
spaces — school, the playground.
Cyberbullying follows the child
home — into the bedroom, at
any hour. Research finds this
constant availability significantly
increases the psychological impact.

Audience size. Research on
cyberbullying and audience finds
that online bullying can reach
a significantly larger audience
than in-person bullying — a
humiliating image or message
can be shared with hundreds
or thousands of people instantly.

Anonymity. Research on online
disinhibition finds that the
anonymity of online communication —
or the perceived anonymity —
removes the social inhibitions
that moderate face-to-face
behavior. Cyberbullies frequently
say things online they would
never say in person.

Permanence. Research on digital
content and psychological impact
finds that online content can
persist indefinitely — a humiliating
post or image can remain searchable
and shareable long after the
initial incident.

Visibility to adults. Research
finds that cyberbullying is
frequently less visible to
parents and teachers than in-person
bullying — occurring on platforms
and in digital spaces that
adults may not monitor or understand.

How Common Is Cyberbullying

Research on cyberbullying prevalence —
including regular surveys by
the Cyberbullying Research Center —
finds that approximately twenty
to forty percent of young people
report being cyberbullied at
some point. Research also finds:

Girls are more likely to experience
cyberbullying than boys.
Cyberbullying peaks in middle
school — approximately ages eleven to fourteen.
The majority of cyberbullying
occurs on social media platforms.
Most cyberbullying is perpetrated
by someone the victim knows —
a peer or classmate — rather
than a stranger.

The Impact of Cyberbullying

Research on cyberbullying and
psychological outcomes — including
longitudinal work by Wolke and
colleagues — finds significant impacts:

Mental health. Research finds
cyberbullying significantly associated
with depression, anxiety, low
self-esteem, and in severe cases,
suicidal ideation. Research
finds the mental health impact
of cyberbullying is comparable
to and in some studies greater
than traditional bullying.

Academic functioning. Research
finds cyberbullying associated
with declining academic performance,
school avoidance, and reduced
engagement with learning.

Social functioning. Research
finds cyberbullying associated
with social withdrawal, reduced
trust in peers, and difficulty
maintaining friendships.

Physical health. Research finds
cyberbullying associated with
sleep difficulties, physical
health complaints, and elevated
stress hormone levels.

Who Is at Risk

Research on cyberbullying risk
factors identifies several groups
at elevated risk:

Children who are already socially
vulnerable — those with fewer
friendships, lower social confidence,
or existing anxiety.

Children who are LGBTQ+ —
research finds significantly
elevated rates of cyberbullying
targeting LGBTQ+ youth.

Children who are perceived
as different — whether in appearance,
interests, or social group.

Children with higher levels
of social media use — research
finds that time spent on social
media is associated with elevated
cyberbullying risk.

What Parents Need to Know

Research on parental awareness
and cyberbullying outcomes identifies
several important points:

Most cyberbullied children
do not tell their parents. Research
finds that the majority of
cyberbullied children do not
disclose to parents — because
they fear losing device access,
because they do not believe
parents can help, or because
they feel shame.

Parental awareness matters.
Research finds that children
whose parents are aware of
their online lives — who know
what platforms they use, who
they interact with, and what
they post — show lower rates
of both cyberbullying victimization
and perpetration.

Open communication is the
most important protective factor.
Research finds that children
who have open, non-judgmental
conversations with parents
about their online lives —
and who trust that parents
will help rather than punish —
are significantly more likely
to disclose cyberbullying.

Try This This Week

Practice 1 — The Online Life Conversation
What it is: A genuine, curious
conversation about your child’s
online life — building the awareness
and communication that research
finds most protective.

How to do it: This week find
a calm, connected moment and ask genuinely:

“What platforms and apps
are you using most at the moment?”
“Who do you mainly talk to online?”
“Has anything ever made you
uncomfortable online?”

Listen — without immediately
imposing new rules or expressing alarm.

Why it works: Research on
parental awareness and cyberbullying
consistently finds that parents
who know their children’s online
lives — and maintain open,
non-judgmental communication —
produce significantly better
cyberbullying outcomes than
those who either ignore online
activity or approach it with alarm and restriction.

Practice 2 — The Digital Safety Conversation
What it is: A brief, age-appropriate
conversation about online safety —
building the awareness that reduces cyberbullying risk.

How to do it: This week have
one specific online safety conversation:

“I want to talk about what
to do if anyone online makes
you feel uncomfortable or
says something unkind.”
“You can always come to me —
and I promise my first response
will be to help, not to take your phone.”
“Never respond to unkind
messages — save them and tell me.”

Why it works: Research on
online safety education and
cyberbullying outcomes finds
that specific, age-appropriate
online safety conversations —
including explicit reassurance
that disclosure will not result
in device removal — significantly
increase disclosure rates and
reduce the duration of cyberbullying.

Practice 3 — The Open Door Reassurance
What it is: An explicit reassurance
that your child can always come
to you about online experiences —
without fear of losing device access.

How to do it: This week say
explicitly and genuinely:

“I want you to know — if
anything ever happens online
that makes you feel bad or
scared — you can always tell
me. My first response will
be to help you — not to take
away your devices.”

Mean it. Follow through if they disclose.

Why it works: Research on
cyberbullying disclosure consistently
finds that fear of losing device
access is one of the most common
reasons children do not disclose
cyberbullying. Explicitly and
genuinely addressing this fear —
and following through — significantly
increases disclosure rates.

The Bottom Line

Cyberbullying is a genuine and
serious form of bullying that
research finds causes real and
significant psychological harm.
Its defining features — the
inability to escape, the potential
audience size, the anonymity,
and the permanence of online
content — make it in some ways
more damaging than traditional bullying.

The research is clear about
what parents need to know:
cyberbullying is common; most
cyberbullied children do not
disclose; parental awareness
of their child’s online life
is protective; and open, non-judgmental
communication — with an explicit
promise not to remove devices
as the first response — is
the most important foundation
for disclosure and effective intervention.

Sources

Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. W.
(2014). Bullying Beyond the
Schoolyard. Corwin Press.

Wolke, D., & Lereya, S. T.
(2015). Long-term effects of bullying.
Archives of Disease in Childhood,
100(9), 879–885.

Kowalski, R. M., Limber, S. P.,
& Agatston, P. W. (2012).
Cyberbullying: Bullying in the
Digital Age. Wiley-Blackwell.

Smith, P. K., et al. (2008).
Cyberbullying: Its nature and
impact in secondary school pupils.
Journal of Child Psychology
and Psychiatry, 49(4), 376–385.