Social Development in Middle Childhood: What the Research Says

Middle childhood — approximately ages
six to twelve — is one of the most
significant and most fascinating periods
of social development. During these
years children move from the family-centered
social world of early childhood into
the peer-centered social world that
will increasingly define their experience
through adolescence and beyond. Research
on social development in middle childhood
provides specific, evidence-based insight
into what is typical, what supports
healthy development, and what parents
can specifically do during this important period.

This article covers what the research
shows about social development in
middle childhood — the key developments,
the key challenges, and what parents
can specifically do.

What Makes Middle Childhood
Socially Distinctive

Research on social development and
middle childhood — including significant
work by Willard Hartup at the University
of Minnesota and Susan Harter at
the University of Denver — identifies
several features that make middle
childhood socially distinctive:

Peers become central. Research
finds that peer relationships —
which were important but not
central in early childhood —
become the primary social context
of middle childhood. Children
spend significantly more time
with peers — and peer relationships
become significantly more important
for identity, self-esteem, and wellbeing.

Social comparison intensifies.
Research finds that between
six and twelve — children become
increasingly aware of how they
compare to peers — in ability,
appearance, popularity, and
social standing. This social
comparison is a normal developmental
process — but also a significant
source of self-esteem vulnerability.

Friendships become more stable
and more reciprocal. Research
finds that friendships in middle
childhood become significantly
more stable, more reciprocal,
and more emotionally intimate
than the more fluid friendships
of the preschool years.

Social rules and norms become
more sophisticated. Research
finds that middle childhood
children develop an increasingly
sophisticated understanding
of social rules, norms, and
expectations — and become increasingly
sensitive to violations of
these rules by themselves and others.

Key Social Developments in
Middle Childhood

Research on social development
in middle childhood identifies several
key developments:

Friendship Development

Research by Hartup and others
finds that friendship in middle
childhood has several distinctive features:

Friendships are based on similarity.
Research finds that middle childhood
friendships are characterized
by homophily — similarity in
age, gender, interests, and
values. Children choose friends
who are like them — and friendships
with similar peers are more
stable and more satisfying.

Friendships involve loyalty
and commitment. Research finds
that middle childhood children
develop a strong sense of loyalty
and commitment in friendships —
expecting friends to be reliably
available and supportive.

Friendships provide emotional
support. Research finds that
middle childhood friendships
become increasingly emotionally
intimate — providing genuine
emotional support, self-disclosure,
and the felt sense of being
genuinely known and accepted.

Having at least one genuine
friendship is critically important.
Research by Hartup finds that
having at least one genuine
reciprocal friendship in middle
childhood is one of the strongest
predictors of positive social
development — and that children
without any genuine friendship
are at significantly elevated
risk of social difficulty.

Peer Groups and Social Status

Research on peer groups and social
status in middle childhood finds:

Peer groups become important.
Research finds that middle childhood
children increasingly identify
with peer groups — cliques
and social clusters — and that
peer group membership significantly
affects identity, behavior,
and wellbeing.

Social status matters. Research
finds that social status —
the degree to which a child
is liked, accepted, and respected
by peers — becomes increasingly
important in middle childhood.
Research identifies several
status categories:

Popular children — widely
liked and accepted by peers.
Research finds that popular
children tend to be prosocial,
cooperative, and skilled at
reading social situations.

Average children — moderately
liked — with some friends
and some social acceptance.

Rejected children — actively
disliked by peers. Research
finds two types — aggressive-rejected
children and withdrawn-rejected
children — with different developmental trajectories.

Neglected children — neither
liked nor disliked — invisible
to the peer group. Research
finds that neglected children
are at less risk than rejected children.

Controversial children —
liked by some peers and disliked
by others.

Social Comparison and Self-Esteem

Research on social comparison
and self-esteem in middle childhood finds:

Social comparison becomes
systematic. Research finds that
between six and twelve — children
develop the cognitive capacity
for systematic social comparison —
comparing themselves to specific
peers on specific dimensions.

Self-esteem becomes more realistic.
Research by Susan Harter finds
that self-esteem in middle childhood
becomes more realistic — less
inflated than in early childhood —
and more differentiated —
with children developing distinct
self-assessments in different domains —
academic, athletic, social, appearance.

Peer acceptance significantly
affects self-esteem. Research
finds that peer acceptance —
being liked and valued by peers —
is one of the most important
predictors of self-esteem in middle childhood.

Moral Development

Research on moral development
in middle childhood — including work
by Lawrence Kohlberg and more recently
Elliot Turiel — finds:

More sophisticated moral reasoning.
Research finds that middle childhood
children move from simple rule-following
to more genuine understanding
of the reasons behind moral
rules — fairness, harm, rights, and responsibilities.

Understanding of social conventions.
Research finds that middle childhood
children develop an increasingly
sophisticated understanding
of social conventions — the
rules that govern social life
in their culture — and their
distinction from genuine moral rules.

Increasing moral autonomy.
Research finds that middle childhood
children increasingly evaluate
moral situations independently —
rather than relying entirely
on adult authority — developing
genuine moral reasoning capacity.

What Are the Key Social Challenges
of Middle Childhood

Research on social challenges
in middle childhood identifies several
specific difficulties:

Peer rejection. Research finds
that peer rejection — being
actively disliked by peers —
is one of the most significant
risk factors for poor social
development in middle childhood.
Research finds that peer rejection
is associated with elevated
rates of anxiety, depression,
school avoidance, and long-term
social difficulty.

Bullying. Research finds that
bullying — repeated aggressive
behavior directed at a less
powerful peer — peaks in middle
childhood — and is associated
with significant negative outcomes
for both the bullied child
and the child who bullies.

Friendship difficulties. Research
finds that some children struggle
to form and maintain genuine
friendships in middle childhood —
whether due to social skill
deficits, anxiety, neurodevelopmental
differences, or other factors.

Social comparison and self-esteem.
Research finds that the intensified
social comparison of middle
childhood produces significant
self-esteem vulnerability —
particularly for children who
find themselves unfavorably compared to peers.

What Supports Healthy Social
Development in Middle Childhood

Research on social development
in middle childhood and what supports it identifies:

Warm authoritative parenting.
Research consistently finds
that warm authoritative parenting —
combining genuine warmth with
consistent structure and genuine
respect for the child’s developing
autonomy — significantly supports
healthy social development in middle childhood.

Genuine peer social experience.
Research finds that genuine
peer social experience — including
unstructured play with peers —
continues to be the primary
context for social skill development in middle childhood.

At least one genuine friendship.
Research supports actively
facilitating genuine friendship —
through playdates, shared activities,
and support through friendship difficulties.

Emotion coaching. Research
by Gottman finds that emotion
coaching — acknowledging and
validating children’s emotional
experiences — continues to
support emotional intelligence
and social competence in middle childhood.

Open communication about peer
relationships. Research finds
that parents who maintain warm
open communication about their
child’s peer relationships —
asking genuine curious questions
and listening genuinely — are
significantly better positioned
to support their child through social difficulties.

Try This This Week

Practice 1 — The Friendship Support Practice
What it is: A deliberate weekly
investment in your child’s most
important friendship — recognizing
the developmental importance
of genuine friendship in middle childhood.

How to do it: Once each week —
actively support your child’s
most important friendship:

Facilitate a get-together with their preferred friend.
Ask genuine curious questions
about the friendship — “What
do you and [friend] like to do together?”
Support through friendship
difficulties — without taking over.

Why it works: Research by
Hartup consistently finds that
having at least one genuine
reciprocal friendship in middle
childhood is one of the strongest
predictors of positive social
development — making friendship
support one of the most important
parenting investments of this period.

Practice 2 — The Peer Relationship Check-In
What it is: A deliberate weekly
genuine conversation about peer
relationships — maintaining the
open communication that research finds most protective.

How to do it: Once each week —
in a calm connected moment — ask genuinely:

“How are things going with
your friends at the moment?”
“Is there anyone at school
who is being unkind?”
“Is there anyone you would
like to spend more time with?”

Listen genuinely — without
immediately problem-solving.

Why it works: Research on
parent-child communication and
middle childhood social development
consistently finds that parents
who maintain warm open communication
about peer relationships —
and who are aware of their
child’s social world — are
significantly better positioned
to provide effective support
when social difficulties arise.

Practice 3 — The Self-Esteem Protection Practice
What it is: A deliberate daily
practice of building the secure
self-esteem that buffers the
social comparison of middle childhood.

How to do it: This week find
three specific genuine moments
each day to communicate unconditional positive regard:

A specific genuine compliment —
about character rather than performance.
A genuine expression of enjoyment
of the child’s company.
An explicit expression of
unconditional love — separate
from any achievement or behavior.

Why it works: Research on
self-esteem and middle childhood
consistently finds that parental
warmth — and the felt sense
of being genuinely valued and
loved regardless of social standing —
significantly buffers the self-esteem
vulnerability that the intensified
social comparison of middle childhood produces.

The Bottom Line

Middle childhood is a period
of remarkable social growth —
as children move from the family-centered
social world of early childhood
into the peer-centered social
world of later childhood and
adolescence. Research is clear:
peer relationships become central;
genuine friendship is critically
important; social comparison
intensifies; moral reasoning
becomes more sophisticated;
and peer rejection and bullying
are significant risks that warrant specific parental attention.

For parents — the most important
investments are: warm authoritative
parenting; active support of
genuine friendship; open communication
about peer relationships; emotion
coaching; and the secure self-esteem
that buffers the social comparison of middle childhood.

Sources

Hartup, W. W. (1996).
The company they keep: Friendships
and their developmental significance.
Child Development, 67(1), 1–13.

Harter, S. (1999).
The Construction of the Self.
Guilford Press.

Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J.
(1997). Raising an Emotionally
Intelligent Child. Simon & Schuster.

Coie, J. D., & Dodge, K. A. (1998).
Aggression and antisocial behavior.
In W. Damon & N. Eisenberg (Eds.),
Handbook of Child Psychology. Wiley.