Author: Chien Liu

Permissive parenting and gentle parentingare two of the most frequently confusedparenting approaches in contemporaryparenting culture — and the confusionhas real consequences. Parents whoare trying to practice genuine gentleparenting sometimes find themselvessliding into permissiveness withoutrealizing it. And parents who aretold their approach is “too permissive”sometimes assume this means theyneed to become harsher — when whatthey actually…

Permissive parenting is one of thoseconcepts that is easy to understandin theory and surprisingly easy tomiss in practice — because many ofthe behaviors that characterize permissiveparenting feel, in the moment, likegood parenting. They feel like warmth,like flexibility, like respect forthe child’s feelings and autonomy. The research on permissive parentinghelps clarify what it actually lookslike in…

Disciplining a defiant child is oneof the most challenging parentingtasks — and one of the most commonlyapproached in ways that make defianceworse rather than better. The instinctto respond to defiance with firmer,harsher, or more consistent punishmentis understandable. The research onwhat actually works tells a morenuanced and more specific story. This article covers what disciplineactually means…

A child who is both defiant anddisrespectful — who not only refusesto comply but does so with eye-rolling,name-calling, contemptuous language,or dismissive behavior — presentsa particular parenting challenge.The defiance is difficult enough.The disrespect adds an emotionaldimension that makes the parent’sown regulation significantly harder —and makes the situation feel morepersonal, more wounding, and more urgent. The research…

Teenage defiance is one of the mostchallenging — and most misunderstood —parenting experiences. The adolescentwho argues with every decision, whopushes back against every limit, whoseems to have replaced the childyou knew with someone who questionseverything and complies with nothing —is not a parenting failure. Theyare, in most cases, a developmentallynormal adolescent doing exactly whatadolescent development…

The defiant three-year-old is one ofthe most universally experienced —and most universally exhausting —parenting challenges. The child whowas relatively compliant at two issuddenly saying no to everything,pushing back against every limit,melting down at every frustration,and testing every boundary withwhat feels like remarkable determination. The research on three-year-old defiancetells a reassuring and specific story.This article covers…

Defiant behavior at school — refusingto follow teacher instructions, arguingwith authority, disrupting the classroom,refusing to complete work — is oneof the most challenging behavioralpresentations that teachers and parentsface together. It is also one ofthe most commonly misunderstood —treated as a discipline problem whenit is often something more specificand more treatable. This article covers what the…

Understanding how decision-makingcapacity develops across childhoodis one of the most practically usefulthings a parent can know. It explainswhy the five-year-old cannot reliablyresist the immediate appeal of atreat in favor of a better rewardlater. It explains why the fourteen-year-oldmakes decisions in groups that theywould never make alone. And it explainswhat kinds of decision-making supportare genuinely helpful…

One of the most important and mostcounterintuitive things research tellsus about raising children is thatstepping back — allowing childrento make their own choices, to experiencethe consequences, and to developtheir own judgment — is often morebeneficial than stepping in. For parents who love their childrendeeply and want the best for them,allowing children to make choicesthat might…

Confidence is one of the qualitiesparents most want for their children —and one of the hardest to assessaccurately. The child who is loudand assertive is not necessarily confident.The child who is quiet and reservedis not necessarily lacking in confidence.The child who performs brilliantlyin public may be driven by anxietyrather than genuine self-assurance. The research on…